People have gotten too comfortable pushing boundaries, so here is a reminder that if someone is testing yours, boundaries are there for a reason, reinforce them, and honor them. The following are some of my personal ones.
Online boundaries
I do not share every detail about my life here or anywhere online, including at work. It’s as simple as that. I share what I’m comfortable with the whole world knowing, and with the knowledge that leaving a digital footprint that my great-great-grandkids can trace makes me a lot more conscious of the media I put out.
Words hold power and have a way of changing tides, elections, and opinions that can be both good and bad depending on the situation. I spent years thinking it was just one picture, just one post, one blog post, but it’s really not. Hello, USA elections.
As a society, we have become too comfortable sharing every single detail online. Like, ma’am, we do not need to see your day in the life—we really don’t. It’s not that groundbreaking. Also, why are you so comfortable sharing pictures of your home, your kids’ faces, where they attend school, what they eat, etc.? There are some serious security concerns; not all individuals who view your story, like your post, or read your blog are good people with good intentions.
What I share on this blog
Often here on my blog, my posts are more opinion-based, with some personal tidbits and mostly work-related, as I am a social worker. I’ve talked about no longer being anonymous and how jarring that was, but it was also a good wake-up call to reinforce my online boundaries.
I do not share personal details of my day-to-day life, my immediate family dynamics, my love life, or the negative things that happen, not because my life is perfect, but because it’s private.
Posting in real time
One of the ways I maintain this boundary is by never posting anything in real time here or on social media. One, for security reasons, I don’t need people tracking my whereabouts, and two, because I like being present in whatever I’m part of.
I take pictures and videos without the intention of sharing them immediately. If and when I do share a part of my travel or day, it’s usually a photo or two posted a week or two after I’m home or after the day has passed.
Family and friends
Another boundary I stay true to, and have talked about before, is not sharing my family’s and friends’ faces. I can count on one hand the people I’m willing to show here, and all of them know I have a blog and are okay with it.
My parents, siblings, and many close friends are never on here, and that’s totally fine. Not everything and everyone needs to know who I’m with or what I’m doing at all times.
Work boundaries
Another boundary, and this is very much work-related, is that I refuse to add any of my coworkers on social media, let alone share my blog with them or advertise that I’m online. If they happen to find my blog, great. Social media is not for coworkers.
I don’t need them to know who I’m friends with, what I repost, what I’m up to, or what my friends’ and family’s lives and travels look like. We are colleagues, not friends. You will only know what I choose to tell you or what I share publicly on this blog.
This came up at work recently when a coworker said I should share more about my personal life. Why would I? She was extremely upset when I said I didn’t have to share anything about my personal life at work. It’s work. If I want to share something, I will—but honestly, why does it matter? Get the job done, and go home.
I think, as a society, in general, we have gotten so comfortable getting a look into other people’s personal lives. And trust me, I do think people tend to overshare; maybe they want the likes or want to be relatable, but everything comes at a cost. That’s the harsh reality. If you don’t have boundaries now, or don’t set and reinforce them early on, you won’t have a leg to stand on later.