I recently hit the one-year mark at my job, and immediately, my mind started racing. One year? How? Where has the time gone? What have I even done this past year? Have I accomplished anything worthwhile? I had to take a step back and reflect. And you know what? While it’s been a whirlwind, this past year has actually been one of the best for me, career-wise.
I thought I’d share the two things I wish I had known when I first started as a social worker, fresh out of grad school and boundaries I continue to practice daily:
Detach Your Identity and Self-Worth from Your Job
I’ve talked about separating your personal identity and self-worth from your job before, but I want to take a moment to reiterate something crucial:
Your job does not define who you are as a person.
It’s so easy to get caught up in work and start equating it with your value, but they are not the same. You can have a bad day at work, but that doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. You can struggle in one area of your life—whether it’s being a parent, a partner, or just feeling off—and still be an incredible employee.
The key is to remember that your worth is not tied to your role or performance in any one aspect of life, including your career.
Your job is part of your life, but it should never be all of it. Your character, your values, and your relationships—all of these things contribute to who you are, not just the title you hold or the work you do.
This is something I wish I had known earlier. When I started this job, I made a conscious effort to set this boundary for myself because it’s so easy to lose sight of it when work starts taking up a lot of your time and energy.
Be Selective of What You Share
When I first started right out of grad school, I told everyone everything. What I was up to every weekend, who my friends were, what I loved doing outside of work—basically, my whole life story.
But here’s the ugly truth: not everyone is your friend.
Most people won’t celebrate your wins, and some won’t like it if they think you’re doing better than them—professionally or personally. It’s harsh, but it’s reality.
The workplace isn’t high school, but it has its cliques and politics. People talk. Things get around. Your job is to strike the right balance:
- Share enough to build relationships and avoid seeming distant or aloof.
- Keep personal details to yourself unless you’re okay with them becoming common knowledge.
If you are a person of color- double down on this.
It’s a lesson I had to learn the hard way. While I still value being genuine and building connections, I’m now more mindful about how much I share and with whom.
What are things you wished you had learned early on in your career?
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